To him

So, the question is; do you stay or do you go? When there is a crack in the veneer and things get hard what do you do? If you love someone, do you cut your losses or do you stay and try? Nothing is ever the same after a mistake, but sometimes it is better. Maybe it would be easy to forget and to just let it all melt away. But then, wouldn't you always wonder what if?

There are only a few things I know for sure. I know that I love him. I have been his since the very beginning (long before he was mine). For me, he is a shining star. No matter how much time or space elapses his star will forever remain just as beautiful. The cracks and the dust, the loss of color will not make me forget the sparkles that are always there.

I am his. I know there is a God and I know he is looking down on us right now, wondering why humans make things so difficult. God, if you are listening, tell him I love him. Tell him he is air I breathe. He always has been. Without him I am only me, an imperfect girl who sometimes messes up royally. With him, I can be the woman I want to be. His woman.

I may be irrational, needy, imperfect, but I am the woman who loves him beyond all else. Will that be enough? Do I deserve a moment in time? Am I worth holding on for?

My tarnish will disappear under his touch. My sparkle will return in the warmth of his smile. My blood will flow to my heart and I will be the person he loves, he has always loved. I will be his Emily.

If only I am worth that moment. That heartache. If I am worth the polish.

Him

It is so hard to be apart. I love him so much and I miss him every moment of every day. Sometimes I ask myself why it has to be this way. I know we will make it through the tough times. This is real and we can survive. But, I long for the time when we can be together again. When I can hold his hand and kiss his chin and see his beautiful smile. I can't wait to spend evenings talking on the porch, sampling our wine of the month. When I get back to him I never plan to leave his side again.