To him

So, the question is; do you stay or do you go? When there is a crack in the veneer and things get hard what do you do? If you love someone, do you cut your losses or do you stay and try? Nothing is ever the same after a mistake, but sometimes it is better. Maybe it would be easy to forget and to just let it all melt away. But then, wouldn't you always wonder what if?

There are only a few things I know for sure. I know that I love him. I have been his since the very beginning (long before he was mine). For me, he is a shining star. No matter how much time or space elapses his star will forever remain just as beautiful. The cracks and the dust, the loss of color will not make me forget the sparkles that are always there.

I am his. I know there is a God and I know he is looking down on us right now, wondering why humans make things so difficult. God, if you are listening, tell him I love him. Tell him he is air I breathe. He always has been. Without him I am only me, an imperfect girl who sometimes messes up royally. With him, I can be the woman I want to be. His woman.

I may be irrational, needy, imperfect, but I am the woman who loves him beyond all else. Will that be enough? Do I deserve a moment in time? Am I worth holding on for?

My tarnish will disappear under his touch. My sparkle will return in the warmth of his smile. My blood will flow to my heart and I will be the person he loves, he has always loved. I will be his Emily.

If only I am worth that moment. That heartache. If I am worth the polish.

Him

It is so hard to be apart. I love him so much and I miss him every moment of every day. Sometimes I ask myself why it has to be this way. I know we will make it through the tough times. This is real and we can survive. But, I long for the time when we can be together again. When I can hold his hand and kiss his chin and see his beautiful smile. I can't wait to spend evenings talking on the porch, sampling our wine of the month. When I get back to him I never plan to leave his side again.

Just when you think it will never get better, it does. A star appears in the sky... or the sea and you realize life is beautiful.

Stormy Weather

Wow, this has been a really emotionally turbulent week in our bubble. There's been a significant amount of trouble brewing in the air. This is the first REAL test of our love. I firmly believe that True Love grows in difficult times in relationships. It's SO easy to love when things are just peachy, but what do you have when those peaches turn into lemons?

Wishing star

I wished upon a star... and my wish finally came true!

Wandering through life

When I was a little girl I dreamed of being a ballerina. And a archeologist. And Wonder Woman. Looking back I can't help but wonder where that absolute belief that anything could happen went. To a certain extent I never lost that trust that I could do anything to which I set my mind. It has led me down a number of paths that make my life read like a series of short stories. But, it has also kept me in a constant state of restlessness.

My life finally seems to be falling into place. I have found the ONE that makes me comfortable in my own skin. I am finally financially independent. I have a kitten I love to pieces. I'm interested to see the rest fall into place in time.

Mr. Lucky

I’ve come to realize that I’m the lucky winner in love. I’m holding a winning MEGA PRIZE ticket in my hand right now, yet there’s one small catch. I literally can’t claim my winnings until next year. That’s a long time to think about what you’re going to do with the prize. “Are we going to travel, when and where?” or maybe “move into another house”? The thoughts that cross my mind are endless, but the reality is I can’t do anything this very moment, it can be quite frustrating! But wait; there are plans that can be made for the future once SHE comes home. Then WE can kind of fast forward life a little bit to where we wanted to be right now, but weren’t able to. It’s an overwhelming feeling knowing I have a life changing event waiting for me, and sometimes it drives me bonkers knowing there’s no possible way to take advantage of it right this second when I need it most. The one thing I’m certain of is that I have something special, she’s real, and she’s tangible. Once I’m finally able to get my hands on her, my life’s going to be forever changed with joys and riches unimaginable. I’m never going to let her go.